Friday, October 7, 2011

Learning how to be wrong

Ok, so the the title of this post is a little inaccurate. I don't really have much learning to do in the "being wrong department." I'm wrong plenty of times; possibly more than I am right. Even though I will be the first one to admit that I am not always right, I've been thinking lately that I probably don't always mean that. I tend to think I am right way more often than I actually am. I have this tendency to think that I am so much more enlightened, informed, etc than a lot of other people, and it's just too bad that all those small minded and ignorant people out there just aren't on my level. I know that's an incredibly ugly thing to think, which is perhaps the reason that it has taken so long to acknowledge it in me. I haven't really noticed this side of me, because frankly, I didn't want to. When we realize something negative about ourselves, it's much easier to ignore it. If it's ignored, we have one less thing about ourselves that we have to recognize as imperfect. We can go about our lives and not have to think about all the things we need to change. Sure, we can recognize some mistakes, because after all, "I'm not so arrogant to think I'm perfect. I can admit when I'm wrong..." and yet, we only allow ourselves to take it so far.
  Recently, for one reason or another that I can't really pinpoint, I have come to realize just how often I think I am right, and everyone who disagrees is completely wrong. I'm much quicker to argue my point of view and opinion, and not quick enough to really consider the fact that this person who has a completely opposite point of view might be right. Recently, I just kind of woke up and thought to myself, "Who up and gave you all the knowledge and wisdom of the universe?" It just kind of hit me that it's basically impossible that I am right as often as I think I am. This was a sobering thought to me, and I realize it's something I need to work on. For all of my life, one of the most detestable character traits I might find in someone has been arrogance. I can't stand an arrogant person, and yet, I never saw the arrogance in me. Carl Jung, a famous and renowned psychiatrist has said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." I feel like ol' Carl really hit the nail on the head with that one.
  I'm trying to learn, I'm trying to grow. I don't want to keep ignoring this part of me; I've been ignoring it for long enough. It's something I need to work on, and hopefully in doing so, I can get a little closer to the person that I am meant to be.