Saturday, December 4, 2010

Learning to live in the moment

By nature, I am someone who tends to look down the road a lot and plan for the future. I seem to always be looking forward, and sometimes that means missing what's right in front of me now. I love to sit and dream about what is in store for me and Ryan 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 30 years down the line. I like to think about having a house of our own, children, a small farm, etc. These are things that sometimes I wish I could rush into. For example, I have always wanted to be a mom. I see friends with their new babies and my heart aches to have one of our own. I truly long for the day when Ryan and I will be parents, but I also know that with that comes major life changes. While some of those changes are wonderful, it also means having less time alone together. We wouldn't be able to focus on each other and our relationship as much; all of our attention would go towards taking care of an infant. We would be tired and stressed out at times, and that can always invite some bickering between two people. We would have a new financial burden, and that would only contribute to more stress and anxiety. I know that one day it will be amazing to be parents, but that I also have to take time to smell the roses now and enjoy where we are in our lives at the moment. It's something I have to fight myself on, but I always know deep down that we are where we're supposed to be right now. We'll let God take care of timing, and we'll enjoy the life He has given us now.